tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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