Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
