Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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