please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
