FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
