those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
