the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
3pm strippers are depressing
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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