I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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