just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
whose ass print is on the piano?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
