How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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