sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Terrible idea I love it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
