We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
