Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize