are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
