You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
