Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
