Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize