its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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