Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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