i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
