1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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