i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
