there's paper in my vomit.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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