We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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