quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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