If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
