I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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