I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
