My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
