Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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