Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dick very happy bro
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Please don't give away my fajitas
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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