i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't deserve a penis
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
