I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh god it's open bar.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
