hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
