My friends, they love my intelligence
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You were trust falling into bushes
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
