No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
