He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
