Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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