I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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