He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
