Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
