As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
