If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
