he thought i was a dude.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
