TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
