But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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