so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
