yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
