I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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