yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize