If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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