Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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