Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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