So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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