the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
