North Korea, Best Korea!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
