Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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