woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
