so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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