So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't think brook has ever known best
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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