What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I believe in your delicious
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
